Coaching Corner

So the problem with losing your since of self is figuring out were to begin your journey of learning who you are now. Some people that have lost themselves would say I want to feel like the old me again. What you have to realize is there is no reversing time to go back to find the old you. Your best bet is to start getting to know the person you are right now in this moment. Now starting that process maybe difficult depending on what stage in life your in and if you have kids or not. Being in a relationship while trying to work on you also comes along with its set of challenges. To start the work of getting to know yourself is not just about accomplishing the task but also about enjoying the journey. Learning your likes, dislikes, loves, hates and learning how to set/keep boundaries. Now learning how to set boundaries is a whole neither conversation in it self because you not only have to set them, you must maintain them as well. Now from the first few lines of this blog you maybe ques

In relationships, you're position in your partner's life isn't guaranteed. Most times we would like to think that it is but the truth of the matter is that relationships success is based on your efforts. How consistently intentional you are at making the relationship growth a priority to you. How you create ways for new connections with each other daily, weekly or monthly. The issue with most relationships is we get comfortable with the person that we're with and sometimes that level comfort can be harmful to the relationship growth. It was author Brian Cagneey that said ," A comfort zone is the most dangerous area anyone can stay in. It is a place of no growth and no challenges." So when you get too comfortable with your partner, the consistent intention to building the friendship and relationship starts to fade. So the idea of being easily replaceable comes in to play because once you notice that you're partner isn't investing in you and the relatio

What's your why for wanting to get married? Is that why a good enough reason to start and grow your relationship? What is your strategy for maintaining the love and connection in your relationship? Can that strategy be evolved as life happens to your relationship? Is just because you love the person you're with the only reason you want to get married? If love is your primary reason and you some strong reservations about specific parts of your relationship,  than now is the time to get to work. Even the smallest of issues or concerns are valid when you're talking about building a lifetime together with someone. You have to decide whether the concerns are big enough to move forward or to stop. No one wants to tell the person that they love that, I don't think we are ready to be married. It takes alot of courage to stand up and say I truly want what's best for the both of us. That could mean not getting married right now or not getting married at all. I realize that is

In a committed relationship or marriage,  their is going to be a cost associated with your career. In this chase to get ahead of specific bills, saving for retirement, saving for vacations or just saving for a rainy day there is a cost. The fee is time spent away from your partner and your focus on the relationship. When a person has a demanding job or extreme financial responsibilities it gets increasingly difficult to focus on anything else but making money.  No one ever considers at what cost though. Not until you start noticing a difference within your relationship. At that point when you have noticed a difference is when action needs to be taken to correct the imbalance in the relationship. Now what tends to happen is sometimes no action is taken because we assume that the imbalance is not a big deal and will eventually work itself out. WRONG!!! These situations very rarely work themselves out and the two people start becoming more distant with emotional/physical connection. If yo

Whenever two individuals enter into a relationship or marriage no one ever tells you that your connection with each other has to be maintained.  No one ever talks about why maintaining connection with each other on an emotional and physical is so critical. Everyone always talks about the things they want to do together, but no one every gets to the true meaning of why those things are important to the relationship. People say that the word love is a verb. People say that you choose who you want to love or give that love to, but love is fragile. Love fades just as quick as following in love with that special person can happen. So, when you talk about the goals of your relationship make sure to discuss how you as an individual will prioritize the connection both emotional and physical in your relationship. Life will not make prioritizing each other an easy thing on a daily or weekly basis.  That means you have to be intentional about each other and your relationship success.  To me that

Sometimes when you're having issues in a relationship, do you ever consider that these issues are double sided?? What I mean by double sided is that sometimes the real issues are previous baggage that we have carried within ourselves that add to the current issues of the relationship. Those would be two separate situations to tackle at the same time. Most individuals don't consider how there own individual trauma or past life experiences can effect your future relationships.  Most individuals realize it when it becomes a problem in the current relationship. By then, most of the damage has been done. Some damage may be difficult to come back from. Relationships, in general, are not always easy or fun. Sometimes there has to be some self analysis to make sure you are doing right for yourself and by the relationship you chose to be in. It's not up to your partner to check you on your issues, most times. You have to want to check yourself to make sure that the situations that m